The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
04/26/18
Fantastic! Loved that "comment by a friend" about God's love...fantastic!

Well done,

Blessings~
04/26/18
Very nice!
04/26/18
I loved this story! How often we don't feel the love and yet God is working through us. A beautiful example of it being God's work and not ours.
04/30/18
Awesomely done! I very much enjoyed reading this entry.
This is a powerful story with a great lesson. Some suggest not to start with dialog because it can make a reader feel like she's interrupting. I don't usually have a firm feeling but in this case, I think a little background, body language, and thoughts might spice up that opener.
Here's a quick example. I flitted around the house, trying to put everything in place. Looking at the misplaced pillows, I grimaced. Deep in thought, I jumped and squawked when the telephone rang.
I took liberties, but wanted to show how little things like that can help develop the MC and give the reader a mental picture. It also shows her internal conflict right away too. You did a great job of writing on topic. Your message is great and one that resonates in my heart. Congratulations on ranking 6th in your level. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.