The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/08/18
Wow, good job with the topic. Moving piece, thank you.
Blessings
02/08/18
Oh my! What a story! Good descriptions.
02/10/18
Life in the fast lane...sometimes ends very badly.
02/12/18
A dramatic story, especially, as you say, though fiction,it depicts true events.
It would be vastly improved by less of just telling the story and more of painting the scene and letting the reader imagine it. For example:
One day a business man approached. "Hey, Peter, you've got a bike. I need to get to the city. Can you take me?"
Peter's heart raced. This was the opportunity he'd been waiting for to try his bike out in the big world.
Good use of the topic. Red was certainly central to the story.