The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Definitely on topic, best of luck to you
Wow! That's pretty stressful. It's good to remember past words of advice, especially those of Sripture.

May I suggest splitting the paragraphs for easier reading.
Blessings, LaVonne
Thanks for the suggestion, Yvonne.
Sounds like the mc was in a rather abusive work situation. I was actually relieved when she got the news she was fired. Kind of a blessing in disguise there? Anyway, you did a good job creating a mood of frustration and helplessness pulled together in hope at the end.
Nice job with the topic in content and delivery.

Well done,

This is an awesome story. You grabbed my attention right off and held it to the very end.

Just a few quick thoughts. Be consistent about writing out numbers (55 in a seventy). Experts disagree whether numbers should be written out to ten or a hundred, but agree that consistency is important. Put thoughts in italics. You do it like this, but without spaces: In front do this < i> thoughts, and at end this: < / i>. Hyphenate two words combined to make one modifier (white-haired). Last, start a new paragraph when someone different speaks, acts or thinks.

I really liked your selection of verbs. They really painted a picture for me. Poison, smirk, and bolt were my favorites. This is a great message and one I'm definitely in need of hearing. I joke if worrying were an Olympic event, I'd take home the Gold. You reminded me that I need to hand it to God. Great message.