The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
I loved the last line, and "Laughter bounded up the stairs." Red ink wise, her family seems a little too perfect. Maybe there could have been some tension with one of them? I also enjoyed the "Yam"joke. You pulled it off well.
10/20/17
Good job presenting the challenge of moving overseas away from family. The bit about the shoes was a nice way of bringing it together.
This fit the topic perfectly. All that sole searching for God's will vs leaving your family. Great ending.
10/24/17
good story and on target, enjoyed it.
I liked this well written family life story in drama form. We will have to wait a year to hear the conclusion.

Nice going.
Congratulations on ranking 3rd in your level and 19 overall. Happy Dance!