The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/20/17
Jennifer, I liked the creative idea you had for your story, but it was a little hard to follow. It would have been better to start with the actual birthday. Let the reader see what happened right from the start. Without that, it was a bit hard to put all the pieces together. It can be tricky to know where to start a story, but I think we needed a little bit more information about what was so humiliating.

Keep honing your skill, lovely lady, and keep rising to the Challenge.

Blessings! Deb (Challenge Coordinator)