The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/10/17
Well written. A heartwarming and inspirational piece. Great job. God bless.
06/13/17
Well done!
Blessings~
06/19/17
Ken, I could only think what a terrific cemetery to put on such a big Memorial Day service--complete with bi-plane flyover. Very impressive.

My only critique was that the opening part about the Memorial Day service didn't flow all that well into the rest of the message. I know it was all part of what happened that day, but it was a three paragraph red herring. I can see you were trying to show that huge events don't build community as much as close interaction with neighbors, but it would have been stronger if you had very briefly mentioned the big memorial day service (one paragraph only), then moved on to the walk home. This would make sure the main focus was very clearly on the fact you accidentally snubbed your neighbor, and what happened next.

A good reminder to us all, though, to keep our eyes open for those small moments.

Hope to see you continue to rise to the Challenge.

Blessings! Deb (Challenge Coordinator)