Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: CHILDHOOD (03/09/17)
TITLE: Growing Up Lori
By Pamela Calhoun
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It hurt, but when she replayed the scene in her head she couldn’t keep from smiling. She had been calmly telling him she wasn’t going to involve herself in anything intimate until it was with her husband. He was the one that threw a tantrum and walked out, slamming the door behind him. And that was his exit line? That she needed to grow up?
He’d been her very first crush when they were in the 5th grade. He was a regular topic of discussion in her journal through the years as he continued to ignore her and she stayed faithful to adore him. Then he left for college and she went a little wild after high school. After five years of partying she agreed to go to church with her long time friend, Veronica. That was the first day of a new life for her.
When he moved back to town she didn’t think much of it. He was a childhood crush, she was an adult now. But he started showing up randomly; at the store when she was shopping, at the cafe when she was having lunch, and then two pews in front of her at church. When he saw her come in he asked if he could sit with her. And so things began.
She’d let herself begin to believe maybe he was “the one.” Or, did she just want him to be? She had been dreaming of “ever after” with him for so long. She could imagine them sitting together on their porch swing and telling their grandchildren that they had known each other since they were children.
Now, in retrospect, she could see little things she’d overlooked. Like, when she would ask him after church what he thought of the message and his response was, “It was good.” She wanted to be with someone that would sit with her at lunch and share from his heart what God had spoken to him, but instead she got, “It was good.” And he would never ask her what the message had meant to her.
On their third date, he took her to a really nice restaurant, and then seemed disappointed that she wouldn’t share a bottle of wine with him. He smiled and acted like it was alright with him, but then later when talking to some friends he referred to her as his “goody two shoes” girl.
She had Christian friends that drank wine from time to time. That was their choice, but she had studied and prayed and knew for her, drinking was the old life and she wasn’t bringing it into her new one. Jesus had died to set her free from all of her destructive ways and she took every choice seriously now.
The longer he was gone from her life, the easier it was to see those red flags. Eventually it would have become obvious that they were incompatible. When she was honest she even questioned his commitment to Jesus.
Sitting here in her window seat with her Bible, watching the rain pour down, she felt such conflicting emotions. She’d loved him so much of her life, it was hard to imagine moving on without him.
“Lord, I only want what you want for me. Please help me move past this. And show yourself to Nick, become his Lord, save him from himself Lord.” She continued praying, crying, and pouring her heart out in her journal.
It seems appropriate that it is raining so hard, she thought. She felt all of her dreams were washing down the drain with the rain.
So lost in her thoughts was she, that she startled when her phone announced a text message:
What did God speak to your heart this morning at church?
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