The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
03/12/17
This was way to deep for me. I am going to have to read this many, many times. It was very interesting, but my mind must be to simple to sift through it on the first take. I am only giving my opinion, I would like to see some of your other work because you have such a deep imagination. That is so valuable and keeps readers interested. God bless.
I couldn't always understand what town they were in. The transitions weren't plain to me.
03/12/17
So hard and heartbreaking to be continually selling approval from someone who is not spiritually at a place to give it. I wonder how hard she was on herself as well.

Red Ink: i think your metephorical name for the mother may have been confusing. You could maybe begin by giving her an actual name and then referring to her as Pride for the rest of the article.
A couple of brief transitional words when you change setting would be good as well (ex. A few days later...)
03/13/17
Perfect way to wrap up!
Well done.
Blessings~