The Official Writing Challenge
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How sad for the keepsake to have been broken in such a manner. This leaves me wanting more. How did the ruby get there? Who's ruby was it? How did the mugger know about it? :-) I'd love to read the rest of the story if you write more!
I enjoyed this piece, but I just have one suggestion: the sentence that the man gives the one mugging him about being his long-lost brother seems a little stale. Maybe it would be better if he tries to turn and look at him or something with a little more emotion? The story was captivating so that part just felt like an afterthought or something...but, don't get me wrong, I liked it a lot.
How fascinating, captivating and mysterious?!! Loved it, but yes...lots of unanswered questions; perhaps that is why it's called the MYSTERY of the Shoe, Right? Very well written and Kudos!
You are on the right track with this one! I know with the word limit it is hard to tell the whole story but I would love to read more!
Nice description...and questions...I'm left with plenty of questions! What's the big deal with the shoe? But the ruby escaped, right?!? Would love to read chapter 2, so you caught me! Well done. ;-D
Ooh, I want to know the rest of the story! You left me hanging (I wasn't sure where the "escape" was), wondering about the ruby.
Good job. :)