The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You brought this story to life with your great descriptions and obvious conflicts. I was eager to find out who the MC was (I thought Jesse James, but don't know much about that era.)

You may want to put some of the narrative into thoughts. For example: Quickly mounting his chestnut stallion, he galloped off to the Raging Bull. How fitting. He snorted as he cracked the whip and dug his spurs into the horses flanks. I suppose the more industrious gentlemen are off atending to the affairs of the day. Well, I never claimed to be a gentleman! He sidled up to the nearly empty bar and slapped some money on the counter. Give me a whiskey, straight up, James.
Also be careful of using clichs. You do a great job with your own words, so unless it's to develop the character, I'd urge you to find a creative way to say hightailing it out of town (that was just one example).

I think you did a great job of writing on topic. The ending was satisfying and a good way to bring the story full circle. Congratulations on ranking 5th in your level and 14 overall. Happy Dance!
Shann, I agree about putting some of the wording in "thoughts" but I don't know how to do it. I know how to do it in word, but it doesn't transfer over. Can you or someone teach me?