The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Congratulations on ranking 5th in your level and 25 overall. Happy Dance!
You did a great job of building the suspense. You also had some great descriptions that made me picture the coastline. In my opinion, the last part with the questions felt out of place, making it almost feel preachy. I think you could have ended it with just the one question at the end of that last full paragraph. You did such a good job with your story that most readers would likely ask those questions anyhow. Of course that's just my opinion. You did a great job of developing your MC. It was definitely on topic.
Very suspenseful. You did a great job building the character and the scene. My heart was pounding along with your MC. You nailed the point perfectly that there is power in the name of Jesus and we are never alone.