The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
07/29/16
Thanks for your article. I like your title. Great content. My red ink is to look at sentence length as I felt some sentences could have been shortened.
07/31/16
You make so many valid points about trust.

Red ink: add white space between paragraphs to make it easier on the reader's eyes. It also helps you see the many run-on sentences (excess wordiness) giving you opportunities to tighten up your thoughts. Punctuation is helpful too.

You do not need to put for the FaithWriters Challenge nor the topic in your story. Just start with the first word of your story, and you're good to go.

I like how you really brought out how powerless we are as infants with no voice or ability to chose our circumstances. It is powerful.
08/03/16
I liked the way you progressed from an infant to and adult using trust as your guiding light. My eyes were a little weary from the continuous paragraph...white space needed. Good job!