The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/21/16
I can see you worked hard on this. However I just did not connect with it. Next time leave the title and word count off. Be sure to keep on writing.
07/25/16
Your story was a good reminder of the spiritual battle going on around us daily. For me the story really began with the paragraph, “It is 43 years since . . . .” Starting it there would enable you to extend the story and show how Marian dealt with the tragedy and what part the angel(s) played in her adapting to new circumstances.
I liked your story. Seeing life from the "other" perspective, well conceived. What I didn't like was the use of the word "Elyon" as a name for her God.

It is true we do not see or know how we are helped or how God works all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. We just can't see the spirit side of things.

Good work. Keep at it. You could enlarge this story and give more examples of how God's angles work as well as the Holy Spirit works in our lives.