The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 323 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/28/16
Wow! Well done, loved this!

Blessings~
04/29/16
Great story that had me hooked from the first line. Loved the imagery throughout. Only one red ink comment and I could be wrong. 'Aware of their being the last...' didn't seem to flow. Maybe 'Aware that these were the last...' might have been a smoother flow of words. Thanks for this compelling story.
05/05/16
Wonderfully written. Suspense from beginning to end. It always makes me angry when I read about slavery, see a film etc. I guess that's good though. I only found one awkward place - the same a previous comment mentioned.
05/05/16
I could well feel the terror and exultation of the protagonist throughout the piece. Each line was well-crafted with vivid adjectives and meaningful sentence structure.
Two points to consider: place the chirping birds before Shanah's comment to show what her irritation is directed toward more clearly (maybe replace 'said'with something like 'snarled'or 'hissed'), and the line mentioned above might better read as follows: Fully aware that the landmarks were the last ones on her path to freedom, Shanah pressed on.

Beautiful writing!
Congrats on 1st place award! Well deserved, I might add. Beautiful story and kept my attention from beginning to end.
God Bless
You put me right in Shanah's shoes from the beginning. Congratulations of 1st place!
This is fresh and interesting. You pulled me in with the conflict right off the back. I liked the message that there are worse things in this world other than death, especially when we have someone praying on our behalf. There is so much power in prayer. Congratulations on your 1st p, Ace win in your level and your EC. Even though I've been sick, I'm still doing a huge happy dance for you!
05/06/16
Powerfully descriptive work that begs for the next chapter. Congratulations on your EC.
05/06/16
Hi Catherine - Congratulations on a fantastic job!- and your EC win. Really enjoyed this!!
05/07/16
Congratulations on your EC placement!
Thank you.
05/18/16
You wrote this engrossing survival story as if you had experienced the escape firsthand.
Well done and congrats on your win!