The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/19/16
The father was indeed longsuffering with his son.
Good take on the topic.
My suggestions are to watch out for POV shifting. The first one was in the 4th par. Then a few more times more after that. I think you meant disgraceful behavior in the 5th par?
Keep up the good work.
God Bless
02/19/16
I am glad Christ is so long-suffering and patient with us.
I noticed the shifting P.O.V., also, but thought it was well written overall.
02/20/16
Nice recounting of a familiar story. The red ink has already been mentioned.
The story of the prodigal son fit the topic perfectly. Showing instead of telling may added some pop to your story such as: He crumpled up his nose at the vile odor that surrounded him. What was that smell?

I am working at the art of showing myself so I hope my example makes sense.

You have a nice writing style.

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