The Official Writing Challenge
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This was an exciting tale. I was wondering if it was true.

Red ink: my Dad (doesn't need to be capitalized) and a typo, tuhned.

I also noticed that you changed from past to present tense in one part of the story.

This was suspenseful. I think you could tighten up the writing. Also you need white space between Tenses need to be noted to be sure you don't change. Sometimes proofreading will bring those things to your attention before you hit send.

Wow! This was a Wow story!
I loved the suspense the build up and the conclusion.

Well done.

God bless~
I agree with CD Swanson - this is a 'wow' story. I believe God has given you much to share - keep on writing!
God certainly placed some angels on assignment this day! What a testimony to the Buddhists.

Critique- I also noticed the change in tense. I struggle with this myself, finding that I have to reread what I have written looking for this particular issue separate from other editing or I am sure to miss it.