The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I'm glad the MC found Prince Charming in the end.

There's nothing wrong with plain vanilla, but it's hard when boys at that age only notice the brighter flavors.
I thought you maintained the tension & mystery w/ Caleb well. Glad the coincidences didn't result in the expected ("vanilla") invite from him. The ending felt a bit like a tag-on rather than being integrated w/ the narrative -- like the closure info included at the end of many movies. While those aren't my favorite endings, yours wasn't too disjointed. Nice concise writing overall.
Nicely done!

God bless~
Congratulations on ranking 7th in your level and 24 overall! Happy Dance!
I liked your story very much even though it brought back sad memories of being passed over for a more "flavorful sort".

Your story is also a good reminder of how many times we try to take matters into our own hands rather than resting on God and waiting for his perfect timing.