The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/14/16
I enjoyed this. Well done
The title drew me into read the story. The format flowed easily and was an interesting read.
01/15/16
This is a great read. You did a fine job with your descriptions which pulled me into the story.

I have only two very minor red ink items on this one:
First: "After leaping face down from the plane ..." This sounds odd. Maybe something like, "After leaping from the plane and plumeting face down...?" Just a suggestion.

Also: “Awesome. Not bad for an old man. There’s nothing like it.”(this quotation mark, and the next that follows, are not needed here since you're continuing the dialogue without a tag like "he said", for example.) “I’m just thankful this time there were no bullets.”

I hope this is helpful and not confusing.

Great writing. Hope you rate highly.

God Bless.
01/17/16
I enjoyed the story. Thanks for writing it.
01/18/16
Great historical story! Your dialogue was interesting and believable, as I know some elderly veterans that have accomplished the same challenge. Good job!
01/19/16
Wow- so powerful, well done.

God bless~
Congratulations on your 3rd place in the advanced category.
Congratulations, Bonnie, on your level placement. I enjoyed this historic tale of courage and commitment.
I didn't count, but I think you may have had more words you could have used to flesh this out further, prhaps with a family member's perspective, or more reminiscences from the war...