The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 353 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/23/15
This is a lovely story illustrating teenage angst and romance, and all within the setting of what sounds like a tropical paradise - (apart from the sharks!) I especially like the way you ended by giving God the credit for watching over you, even before you knew Him. Your title fitted the story well, linking the sharks with the fishy boyfriend. Well done!
08/24/15
I love the lesson in this and, I must say I didn't see it coming:) I love how you tied in the sharks. This was pleasant and easy to read:) Thanks for sharing!
I didn't see the link between the sharks and the young man coming, not least because I was so engrossed in your description of the place.That was really well done. Excellent writing!
08/25/15
Good story in a dreamy setting. I think you should reconsider calling your sunburn "third degree," however. At that level, you wouldn't be in pain! ;) [ Pathology. an injury usually caused by heat...characterized by a painful reddening and swelling of the epidermis (first-degree burn) damage extending into the dermis, usually with blistering (second-degree burn) or destruction of the epidermis and dermis extending into the deeper tissue with loss of pain receptors (third-degree burn)]
08/25/15
What a delightful read! I guess we all have sweet/sad memories of those teen years when nothing compared with that first kiss or our first experience with love. To our parents it was puppy love but to a 15-year-old, it felt like real love to us! My first kiss was when I was 8 years old, behind our piano, given to me by a blond Greek god named Billy Spencer. But I also had the teen-age encounters like this one you so tenderly described. What a mixture of laughter/tears/joy/sadness. How did we get through those emotional roller coaster rides we called our teen years? Lovely story! Good job!
Congratulations on ranking 7th in your level. Happy Dance!