The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Well-written, funny, and very enjoyable.

God Bless
I enjoyed the ramblings of this young MC. It reminded me a bit of my daughter. I think you did a nice job of developing the character and setting the scene.

I did notice you switched tenses. Most of it was past tense, but you did slip to present and future. You may want to put the thoughts (which would be in present tense) into italics so it's clear that they are thoughts. For example:
The seagull circled me while cawing and pooping simultaneously. Stop watching me. Shoo! I'm not dead yet, and youre not a buzzard.
I added some description to show the way to combine the thoughts and create a picture for the reader.

I think you have a delightful sense of humor. I really enjoyed your ending. I found myself smiling throughout the read. I think you did a fine job with this story.
This was entertaining! Had a dose seriousness followed by a splash of playfulness; downright stubbornness contrasted by desperate apologies... everything you'd expect from a hormone charged youth!

Your MC's voice was strong and enjoyable and consistent throughout!

Great job and well done:) very unique
A very creative take on the topic - the angel holding up the tree. You've done well with this. I agree with the above comment that it would help to show the MC's thoughts in italics. But, well done.
How practical are those angels???
Well-written self-commentary of your MC, and a gentle closing turnaround. Well done.