The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/23/15
Excellent. You set the scene, gave the MC character, and introduced the PUNCH. My only (minor) red ink would be to add more to the dinner scene. Really show his gluttony. If I didn't know the topic, I might just think they had a nice meal and not that they over-indulged. I love how you delivered a great message with power and subtlety!
01/25/15
Excellent job with the topic in delivery, content and meaning.

God bless~