The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/31/14
This was a "complex" piece, I had to read it twice to get the full impact of the message you brought forth. Very well written, I like how you make the reader "guess" and ponder the situation and figure out the circumstances. Clearly well thought out, and well done.

God bless~
I'd love to read this as a longer piece, to find out more of the story!
11/01/14
You write very well. I have to admit that I still didn't quite 'get' the main point after reading it twice but I think I'm just missing something. Good descriptive writing.
I think I've got it - I thought this was exceptionally done. Thrillers/suspense stories should make the reader think hard, much more so than other genres. I think the paragraph spacing issues you mentioned on the thread made it a little harder to follow, but, to be honest, that's a cosmetic thing (and I know I've done that before). It did not retract from a very original and very relevant story.
What a moving story of our possible futures. Very moving.
Hugs, Judi
1 Timothy 3:16 KJV