Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Husband and Wife (08/08/14)
- TITLE: An Unholy Alliance
By Sharon Eastman
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Being married to Christ through salvation is the highest priority in all of heaven and earth. It leads to an adventurous, exciting, blessed, yet trying life. Being married as a Christian to a non-believer can be hell on earth. I know. This is my experience.
1966-1971: Bill and I met when I was fourteen and he was eighteen, a big gap for those tender years. We became acquainted through auxiliary Masonic groups, DeMolay and Job’s Daughters. I was chosen DeMolay Chapter Sweetheart, and he became the Master Counselor. Through that experience, we became a couple and attended many of these youth functions together. It was a nice but worldly organization.
I really admired Bill, his leadership abilities, his optimism, and planning skills. I was enthralled by his college attendance and further swooned at his blonde hair, blue-eyed charms.
I was deceived by my home life. Although my family attended church, lived in a clean house, and prayed, the inner spirit of the home was dirty. It was a very dysfunctional alcoholic home with my dad as the absent, irresponsible drinker and my mom as the emotional, nervous enabler. My spirit sensed that something was wrong, but I couldn’t identify it. Thus, Bill became my rescuer and co-dependent. He was like the father I never knew. He provided the security, guidance, and love that I lacked. And, I too, captured his heart with my all American beauty and inocense.
While we became closer emotionally, the next step was a physical relationship. I knew that premarital sex was wrong, but the exciting new “sport” of sex was all I could think of. Finally, we consumed our relationship. I was sixteen to his twenty and was in no emotional condition to have sex; it blinded me to life’s and love’s realities.
The end of our courtship was the proverbial shot gun wedding. The start of our marriage was shameful to our families and us. But, when our beautiful daughter, Wendy, arrived, there was healing and joy.
1971-1978: My lofty dreams of wedded bliss were shattered after a short honeymoon period. Bill’s overwhelming love for me turned to possession and control. His leadership abilities turned to an uncompromising dictatorship. His optimism was unrealistic, and his pursuits were often in vain. The advantage of his education was marred by a concealed dyslexic disability and further marred by vile and ignorant speech. He thought his swearing demonstrated power and intelligence but actually showed his ignorance and buffoonery.
I was perplexed. I was miserable due to his dysfunctional behavior. To add to my sorrow, our dire finances were strangling us. My parents wouldn’t help as they were involved in their own dismal situation. My mom would gloat and say, “You made your bed now lay in it.”
1978-2013: After her untimely demise and other circumstances, I turned to the Lord. I surrendered my life to him in 1978, and although my whole world crumbled, I had peace and joy in my heart. Five days after my salvation experience, I awoke in a mental hospital. God had blessed us with a beautiful baby boy, yet I fell into a valley of deep depression. This depression led to a post-partum psychosis. Bill stood valiantly by my side and allowed me to be the wife and mother I yearned to be. Through medication, faith, and pray, I have been stable for thirty years.
All was good in that case, but as a Christian, my life and outlook changed. I became very outspoken. I became anti-gambling, anti-abortion, anti-alcohol, and anti-gay immorality. Whenever these situations confronted us, Bill always took the hedonistic side. “You must accept these things. That’s society today.”
His vile mouth shocks me. If anything is good, he swears. If anything is wrong, vile words spew out of his mouth like vomit. He says he is saved and going to heaven, but I see no fruit. Gentleness, long-suffering, and peace, especially, are absent in his life. Bill lets me attend church and church functions for which I am glad. He is still deeply engaged in Masonry. It frustrates me when Masonic and worldly activities trump my church going.
2014: We’ll be married 44 years this year, and it has been one sad and happy rollercoaster ride. We’ve been blessed with two children, a nice home, and all the modern necessities. Praise the Lord! Life is life, and I’ve discovered that there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
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