The Official Writing Challenge
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08/08/14
Wow! I have never done drugs, but your story sounded real to me. It must be horrible to be losing control of yourself.

Your message is clear and truthful. Good writing.

Thanks.
08/09/14
Powerfully gripping account, thank you for sharing your story with us. Praise God for His love and mercy, and may God continue to guide and bless you.

God bless~
08/10/14
Many Christians do not understand the impact of drugs.

I have taught at the Salvation Army Rehabilitation Center. My son teaches there every week.

We have heard horror stories that tear at your heart. Families destroyed, lives lost, and spirits slowing decaying.

Good story.

Good message.

The sad thing is that only about 13% of those going into the center really break the stronghold of Satan.

Thanks for your insightful story.
08/12/14
I enjoyed this! About mid-way I was fully absorbed in your entry. Good job of keeping me engaged.

I would have liked to see a little more stuff like the "Drops of sweat", to paint the scene a little more vividly. You could describe his eyes and body posture to show the fear. And then the change of same when the peace comes. I hope that helps.

Keep on entering, you are doing great!
Strong piece - attention getting, dynamic. Great job!
08/13/14
You did a fabulous job using your testimony to create a wonderful entry on topic with a potent lesson.
08/13/14
Wow, that was gripping. I haven't experienced the world of drugs, but your depiction of fear's overwhelming mastery struck home with me. I have been there.

I was a little bit confused by the first few lines, thinking that the yoga teacher would figure into the story again. I read on, wondering what it was that wasn't going to work. Did the teacher mean that yoga wasn't going to work?

It made more sense on a second reading. It just took me a minute. Could be just me though.

Once again, powerful story. I appreciated the illustration of unwisely "trying one more time" even when the drugs (or whatever other crutch a person keeps going back to) isn't working.
This is a powerful piece and way more common than I want to believe. You did an outstanding job of showing how God never leaves us. At our weakest moments he is there whispering in our ears.

I noticed the first part was more telling. Near the middle you added dialog and it pulled me into the scene. Sometimes, writers get too caught up in the back story. Instead of introducing all the information at once, if you sprinkle it throughout the story, it'll pull the reader in more. For example :Freddy doubted he would ever feel worthwhile. Shoulders slumping, he buried his face in his hands. Oh, man, all I care about are the 'shrooms. I need them more than anything else. For years, they've been my best friend and I need them to help me focus. Ignoring the voice whispering in his ear, he set off to find his precious mushrooms.
It's not perfect by any means, but I wanted to show you one way to show the reader the MC's back story.

I have to commend you for sharing your story. I know it must have taken a lot of courage. If you haven't entered the testimony contest, I really urge you to. This would be a great way for others to hear your story of triumph and I've no doubt it will make a difference and even possibly save someone's life.