Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Salt and Pepper (07/24/14)
- TITLE: Change Anyone
By Phillip Cimei
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Every aggravating trait was intensified today. Cecil, had a smirk plastered permanently on his face. It is hard to trust someone that smiles all the time. Cecil didn't have the...well...lets say the sixth can of a six-pack, so he was as harmless as a chicken. A chicken with a stupid smirk..
Dorothy, his wife, made you wonder why God intrusted her with four children without an owner's manual. She would smack one of the children for a minor misbehavior, and then with her toothless grin turn around and stare at you. Today, she pinched one, bopped one on the head, and reshuffled all four at least five times.
Lavern was to be avoided today. You didn't want to ask how she was doing because you would be in for a ten minute explanation of how her body was not working right. On one occasion, her father got up teary eyed and asked everyone to pray for her. She claimed her bladder had exploded. How does a bladder explode? Would she still be alive? She was back at services the next week. This time she was sure she had a malignant tumor. I was afraid to ask where.
Today the old man on the front pew had me questioning my religion.
“Did you see that?” I said poking my wife , “did he do what I think he did?”
“Hush! People can hear you,” said my wife.
“He took money out of the collection plate.” I said
Sure enough the old man in his usual slow and methodical way held up the weekly collection process as he slowly took out four one dollar bills. Each one he took out spurred a giggle, a gasp and a raised eyebrow.
“Hush! He put in a five dollar bill and was getting change.”
“That man has been putting in a dollar for as long as we have been going here. And I am sure he has been putting in a dollar since he started, 50 years ago.”
It was time for prayer. Tommy would lead prayer, the same prayer, same words, and same everything. And at the end he closed with, “We appre-shu-ate everything you give us,. Amen”
“I wish someone would tell him it is called appreciate,” I said wagging my head in exasperation.
I grumbled and complained the whole way home. This went on all night. The next morning I would get a lesson I would never forget.
“Time for breakfast,” yelled Ruth.
Ruth had a wonderful twist with scrambled eggs. Not today.
“Okay, everyone bow your heads. Mark would you give blessings please?”
After blessings, everyone filled their plate.
“Pass the salt and pepper please,” said John, the middle child.
“We don't have any,” said Ruth.
“What do you mean we don't have any?” I inquired.
“Sorry you will have to eat the eggs plain. “
They all wrinkled up their noses and dug in.
“Eeewwww, these eggs don't have any flavor,” whined Billy.
“Did you boil these?” I asked.
After all the whining, Ruth made her point.
“Jimmy, you complained yesterday about all the people in church. They all have their little idiosyncrasies. What do you think the church would be like if everyone was the same. Well I will tell you. It would be like these eggs, pretty plain and drab.”
“Yes, but making change out of the collection plate,” I said.
“These are good people. They came to our rescue when our house burned down. They were at your momma's bedside when she was sick and Lord knows how many times they prayed for our children and their well being. They are a weird bunch, but they love the Lord and and are always ready to do his work. That old man that gives a dollar every week saved your hide when you were laid off. Just like these eggs, a congregation has to have some salt and pepper to spice it up”
The next week when Dorothy whopped her kid and turned around, I winked. Got the biggest toothless smile I had ever seen. Pass the salt and pepper please!
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.