The Official Writing Challenge
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The most important and most critical phrase you included was "in the work of the Lord". We can work and work at something but if it is not what the Lord would will us to do, it will not succeed as we envision.

Good introduction to your key point.

It was easy to follow your thought through to the conclusion.
02/01/14
Your devotional prayer at the end is quite good and has universal appeal.

Your opening paragraphs have run on sentences making it challenging to keep connected to the story line. Later in your story, as you quoted scripture, it is easy to see the succinct writing from The Word. By taking the same approach with the opening scenario your story would be easier to digest.

It's challenging to step back from our occupations and use words that others not in our industries can comprehend.

You might find it helpful to read aloud your words and pretend you have no background in your field. This helps ferret out areas were revising your wording can add greater clarity.

Keep up the writing. You have much to share.
02/04/14
Beautiful deovtional!

God bless~