The Official Writing Challenge
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Your vivid description drops us right there in that prison, feeling the jailor's heart beat. The reality for those guys is something I need to consider as I read the Scriptures. After all, weren't we all there before Christ came to abide in us? This sounds like the start of a historical novel. Nice job!
Interesting point-of-view!
I suggest that you tone down the vocabulary a little - by putting it more into everyday speech so it will flow more smoothly. When you use a higher level of vocabulary, the reader may know the meanings, but he has to pause to think of each word instead feeling the tempo of the story.
Good story for the topic!
I tend to agree that the descriptions are a tad complicated, which does interrupt the flow of an otheerwise excellent story and POV.
Camille, this is so deep and vivid and touching. Your descriptions had me right there in that prison with both Paul and his captor. I could feel every word of this excellent piece. Very moving. Very well done!
Your story sounds like someone who is in the Military who is in prison who happens to be a Christian. Comparing his being bound in prison to he spiritual bondage as a Christian. Maybe even the apostle Paul. Nicely done.