The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 700 times
Member Comments
Wow, I didn't see that one coming! Great climax and ending. Not sure how well the topic was covered, but that's just me. This was very believable and genuine. Good grammar, no mistakes that I can see. Wonderfully entertaining.
You really got me with this ending...terrific. I never saw it coming! I do so love a happy ending. Nice job of storytelling. You had me hooked from start to surprising finish. Nice way to begin a new set of challenge articles! Thanks!
Surprise endings! How great is that! It almost makes "relevant to topic" irrelevant.:-) I agree about topic connection, but this was such a delightfully, creative story, even thought took a bit more reading to realize your MC had not met Ida for the first time.

I love the way you cleverly and effortlessly wove the details. Job well done!
"even though it took..."
Love it! I felt like I was right there, stuck on that train with Ida and the crazy guy. The ending was the clincher! Great story and superb writing.
NOTE: I was just informed by a Christian friend that Starbucks allegedly has a "nefarious" following/reputation, including occult symbols.

I want everyone to please understand, that I had not heard about this, until this very moment! I don't even frequent, nor have ever gone to this place anyhow. My Aunt does, who this story is loosely based on! And, she never heard of this either.

So, if I've offended anyone, It was unintentional, and I was blindsighted by the info my friend supplied to me. Again, never heard about any of it!

Thank you to those who commented already...I appreciate every word.

God Bless,

The word “SPLASH”, the way you used it capped and italicized, both in the story and ending with it, undoubtedly has a special “code” meaning to Vera and the “cute, weird guy” LOL I think you needed to make that point stronger in the story, help us understand why that code word “SPLASH” was significant to them, and an integral part of the story and therefore the topic.

That being said, without having to worry about topic, this story was GREAT, such a fun read with its unexpected twists and turns, not knowing until the end where it was going! It was interesting, entertaining and charming...definitely a story I think you should flesh out (apart from the word constraints of this challenge) and develop into a longer, more detailed short story or better yet as an excerpt as part of a book about “Vera and the cute, weird guy”...for I found myself wanted to know more and more about this interesting, secretive couple!
This is a sweet story. I'm not big on romances and Danielle Steele makes my teeth hurt, yet I still found myself enjoying these characters.

I like a good twist, but you have to stay loyal to the story to pull it off. The fact that the cute but weird guy started yelling like he was losing it or to scare others turned me off a bit and didn't seem like the right fit for the MC.

I did enjoy the ending, even though it was somewhat predictable. I really
Liked Idea and she seemed like just the perfect friend. You did keep my interest from beginning to end. Nice job.
I try not to read comments before commenting, but let me reassure you that I also haven't heard of the Satanic symbols in the logo. I've never stepped foot in a Starbucks so I have no idea if they have nefarious plans. I do know you and your sweet heart and know you would never intentionally intimate something satanic. Also I believe that there have been other stories on here that talked about Starbucks, so please don't let that worry you.
That ending! This was fun. I feel inspired to go write something with a surprise twist. Thanks for sharing this!
I don't connect anything bad with Starbucks, but I find that leaving out store names or brand names works best all around. We never know. Cute story.
Very enjoyable!
Ha! I love your title in retrospect. ;) What a fun, enjoyable tale. I'm still smiling!
Wow ... what a great ending! The story was so real and held my attention right through to the end. This really was an enjoyable read, light, and yet had a deeper tone to it about thinking things through and turning all of life's decisions over to the Lord. Very well done!