The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 859 times
Member Comments
This is lovely. I'll admit when I first started reading I thought oh this is going to be about the fish and bread. I asked several people their first idea when they heard the topic and that was a common answer.

But you took it in a totally fresh direction. You didn't just retell the familiar story but brought it to life with your characters. I absolutely love this line --His inscrutable, grizzled visage surveyed the scene. What a wonderful description! It read like poetry.

I also respect how you brought the history of the region in. Though I'm familiar with the stories, the history is something that's harder for me to keep in my head but the way you told it fascinated me and held my attention throughout.
This is truly a fresh and creative way of looking at Jesus' feeding the multitude. I just accepted the story little thinking of those who would cast doubts about it. You made it seem alive in a way that we know detractors would do. I like the setting too as you named the various characters.
This was really interesting, and seems well written to me. You were careful to show honor for Yeshua and combat doubts and attacks that surely are always there.
Just an all around well written piece giving honor to Yeshua along with an historical overview of the region. NIcely done. And, certainly on topic. Great job.

God bless~
I enjoyed this in many respects. Your point of view was most definitely refreshing. The chatter of the eye-witnesses seemed so realistic. I also enjoyed how you wove your historical knowledge into your story. Then your concluding message "God's light to the nations!" is the capstone. Your writing is growing by leaps and bounds!
This is excellent writing! I was right there amongst the tree crowd - in fact I almost joined in the conversation. With your background knowledge and vivid descriptions you are soooo good at this style of writing. And a creative use of the topic too!
I read this twice just because I thought it so good! Great twist on this biblical story and very well written. You did an awesome job! God bless!
Oh Noel, you never disappoint me. Prophet vs. profit, indeed, and all the wonderful writing in between. Great story line, wonderful descriptive narrative. Thumbs up!
A well done and fresh take on the 5 loaves and 2 fishes tale. I don't know why but the line "He mixes with lepers and beggars and business people," just made me laugh ... including business people in with lepers and beggers. :-)

Nicely done!
Congratulations Noel! God bless~
congratulations! I knew this was a great entry.
Congrats Noel! So pleased this placed! Good job!
Good on yer mate. Congratulations!
Congrats Noel ... and a well deserved 3rd place ribbon!
That ribbon looks great perched up there, top right. :) Super congrats!!!
Congratulations, Noel! The dialogue is delightful.
Wing His Words!
Congratulations on your 3rd placing! This is a great take on how Jesus' contemporaries thought about him, who he really was. Well done!
Congratulations on your ribbon and for placing 15th overall!
Congrats! God Bless~