The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 698 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I enjoyed this story. I could relate to the MC feeling a bit timid in an unfamiliar setting. She also taught me not to let my fear win or I could miss out on some amazing people, and some great food. For me, it's way too easy to stay home and hid but your message makes me think I do need to get out and embrace life again, even if it is new and different.

The only suggestions I might make is to double space between paragraphs and make sure when a different person speaks that you start a new paragraph, even if it is just one word. White space helps the reader follow who is speaking and helps them not to feel overwhelmed while reading (especially when reading on a computer screen)

But those are things that you can easily adjust the next time you write. I'm sure at least half of the people don't think about double-spacing at first. I know I didn't realize it until someone pointed it out so that really is a tiny thing.

Another thing some people have trouble with is writing on topic but still having a fresh, out-of-the-box story with a good message. You, however, handled that like a pro. i think tailgating as a picnic topic is unique and the story was a fun read.You ended with an uplifting paragraph that left me feeling good.
07/13/12
This was fresh and different in the approach for the topic on hand. I loved the closing paragraph and the meanings that were subtle, yet so obvious throughout this strong piece.

Good job. God bless~
07/15/12
I like how you have woven the fabric of this story around us so descriptively. I must admit that the slab of unboken print was a deterrent at first glance, but I'm glad I didn't immediately click on the arrow to go on to the next entry.
07/16/12
Having so many males in the family, I am familiar with tailgating! BUT.. living so close to the University of Phoenix Stadium (home of the Arizona Cardinals), I definitely know about tailgate parties! It is a big deal to so many people although I've never tailgated. You did a great job and I agree with the spacing between paragraphs. However, I do my entries on a document that has the space between paragraphs but when I copy and paste the entry, the break between paragraphs is never there, so I have to manually do it. Thanks for this entry. I enjioyed it. God bless!
07/18/12
This was so much fun! I really found the story, and the MC's point of view, compelling. I also enjoyed how you showed us the many sights, sounds, and smells of true tailgating. This was very well written and was a unique and welcomed take on the topic. Nicely done!