The Official Writing Challenge
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03/15/12
Love it! Especially that it's based on a true story. God is truly awesome like that.

I liked the irony of the boss guy who chewed her out. Being humble ... haha! Sounds like he needs to watch his own commercials.

Only a dab of red ink: be careful to maintain the same tense throughout the story. i.e. Not switching from past tense to present tense.

Great job!
03/15/12
You made me cry with this one! How wonderful that someone, you, shoed that dear elderly man that you cared what happend to him. God, truly, used you and rewarded your kindness/sacrifice. Lovely job on the writing, too. I felt the MC's emotions and that's good!
03/15/12
I bet Clegg thought Misty truly was an "angel" from the Lord that day. I sweet, touching story and I absolutely loved that it was true. God bless all the Mistys in the world. God bless!
03/15/12
Such a moving story and all the more so because it is true! Compassion for fellow man seems to be in low quantity these days…so many people just into self, as your story showed with all the people who knocked poor Clegg down and just kept going. Thank God for the few, like you, who will take the time and risk to sacrifice for another. God truly blessed that sacrifice and the promotion was “achieved” in an awesome way! This story was fantastic, well written and such a true blessing to read!
03/16/12
Being a frequent traveler of the subways in NYC, this story touched me in a special way. I loved how the MC, even though clearly frazzled and in a hurry, stepped right up and helped the Clegg out. This story flowed so easily - none of it felt rushed or forced. A wonderful piece of writing ... and a great message!
03/16/12
What a beautiful story! I'm so glad that it ended well, especially since it is a 'true life' story.

My only critique would be with the very first sentence; it reads a bit awkwardly. Perhaps if you changed it a bit, "Already behind schedule, Misty walked quickly toward the subway station."

Well done, great story!
Beautiful story!
03/17/12
Amazing how God works! Thank you for sharing this. Excellent piece of written work. God bless.
03/19/12
What a great cameo of God's grace: affirming Clegg's value, affirming Misty's patience even when it was tested, and tossing in a dose of humble pie for her boss. Humble pie is very nutritious for the soul - unless it's force-fed!
The story flows well, though a couple of small glitches show in mixing past narrative with a present tense mention of her credit card debts in the first para, and you mix these tenses again in your last para.
The warmth from the coffee may be better described as a radiant heat rather than as a stream, which creates a picture in my (strange) mind of a leak somewhere.
But these are very minor issues in a major "feel good" story.
03/22/12
Loved this heart warming story!