The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
A different twist on the bible smuggling story. Just enough information given in the hotel room to keep up the suspense. Your character comes over as a very smooth operator. Loved the tongue in cheek, too - theres a Bon voyage and a Maxx as well. Small things to think about: I found this sentence: Arriving on time, I stowed my precious luggage in the boot of the car and took off. threw me as sh'e in the room; Id stowed would have helped. Watch out for changing POV, from I to her replacing her papers. Yeggy
This is a well-written story of intrigue. There were a few slip-ups where you went to present tense, but otherwise very good, and I think you managed to fit in every challenge topic! What fun!
Verry cleverly done. I had to read it twice to really get it.
Ok - camping, car trip, beach, passport, luggage, postcard, sightseeing, Bon voyage - am I missing retreat some where? :) All that and Maxx too? What an entry and what fun to read with a good message!
I love it! Great writing, suspence, and fun, such a wonderful combination. Good job.
Really strong story told very well; take care with tense/POV, otherwise a very satisfying read. God bless.
Very entertaining and clever entry. Well done!
Blessings, Lynda
This was great -and could have fit into more than one challenge this quarter :) Well done!
You sure fitted a lot in! I love the description about the 'wearied light' from the bulb ... very typical of some country hotels overseas! Well done.
Very clever entry Debra - and even a Maxx as well. Good work. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)