The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Great title,and very well done! You tie it all together perfectly!
The paragraphs were well-divided, but too many sentences were dropped to the next line and there were a few missing commas. However, the story was good with an unexpected twist.
The ending nearly gave me chills! Great twist there. Good thing Marcus knew what that lady had heard, otherwise his girlfriend would be doomed and he'd never know. A follow-up would be cool to see what happens! :D

I, too, noticed that a few commas were missing. With those added, the story would be a real "killer." ;)
Congratulations for placing in the top 15 of your level and in the top 40 overall.
This is such a wonderful and suspenseful story. I smell a novel with these wonderful characters.