The Official Writing Challenge
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Ouch! Your editor was heartless! :) Great (and creative) title for this. I had to smile at "There's a new kid moving into your neighbourhood!" I enjoyed reading of all your careful and extensive planning. ...and in case you haven't used your foreign language phrase book yet, (and so that your money won't have been wasted), I'll add, "Muy Bien."
The story itself was interesting, not excitng, but interesting to a person who's "been there/done that" sort of thing. But the last line was a masterpiece! You got that from reading all those great masters of the art of writing....I'm sure! Cute, and the title is what lured me in. So to soothe your pride, How's this? - Great Title and Great last line! And it can't be ironed out...(*.*)!
Oh the painful road to humility! You did a great job of showing the buildup to the great letdown. I could relate to all the dreams of "greatness", as well as the reality check at the end. Great title.
This is rather painfully similar to where I am at present so I read your story with a sequence of ouches. As has been said great last line and a wonderfully self-absorbed voice for your MC.
In terms of critique, I felt that your piece took off after the elipsis. Before this I found it a little heavy going, like a jet that's desperately rumbling along. But the second half was a delightful flight of fancy.
I thought the material before the elipses was the MC reflecting on the mechanics of writing (very necessary) before getting to the meat of it, so it seemed (to me) to fit.
Yes, the MC showed just the right degree of self-absorption and the last line was the perfect coup de grace.
Wow- I thought my "No-thank-you" turn-downs were harsh!

Wow - this was clever, filled with ingenuity that only a brilliant mind can compose. Just goes to show you, it all comes down to "preference" and someone smart enough to ascertain to know what is fabulous...this guy clearly DID NOT.

This editor doesn't know what they are missing!!

You are the best. Thanks Noel, I needed this.

God Bless you~