The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 903 times
Member Comments
A very literal translation of the topic, but I enjoyed seeing it from the point of view of the sword.

When the little boy came out with the pens on a pillow it had me flash to David and Goliath.

It was short and to the point and would make an excellent devotion for teens.
Very good insights and pacing, though I feel that breaking your final para may have built up towards the climax even better.