The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 721 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/20/10
You had me holding my breath for this brother/sister duo. I was relieved after the rescue. Your ending, with the rainbow and wish made me smile. (…and I learned something, I thought you could only wish upon a star, I never knew you could make a wish over a double rainbow.) :) Nice work!
This was gripping. I think I was even holding my breath as Evan was reaching for Sissy's hand. Excellent job! I would love to see you keep going with this story. Now, I'm curious about how it turns out for Evan with Ellen Anne. :)

P.S., I didn't know about the double Rainbow wish either.
This was great writing! I was right there with the brother as he struggled to save his sister. Very intense!
03/24/10
That first sentence is eloquent! and a subtle 'omen' to what is coming.

Love this line of dialogue.
"Yeah, now we kin roast like a coupl’a chickens” Fitting to the time period...which by the way, you set with just a few but sure references. Awesome.

You have an excellent writer's touch, Pat. A joy to read.


03/24/10
Great tension in this one! I felt a little out of the story until I settled on the children's ages, and a couple of the words seemed out of the narrative voice: luscious and sinew, particularly. Overall, very strong and I loved your characters!
03/24/10
Suspenseful story with a great ending. Liked the symbolism of the tree/cross. Good job!
Good blend of foreshadowing, tension, suspense and symbolism. Not an easy task but you've done it well with this story. Like the way you presented the brother (lost in thought and seemingly uncaring) until his sister was in jeopardy.
Oooh, wish on a double rainbow? I love it! Loved the contrast between brother and sister. It was excellent!
03/24/10
Gripping, you held my interest. Young love, Spring fever. Very good job.
Mona
03/25/10
I get the end, but not sure if it was smoothed out enough. I did like the analogies though.
oooh great story, Patricia! Congrats on your placing!
03/30/10
Well deserving of this honor!