The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Love the double meaning in the title, and the delicious irony in the ending.

This left me with lots of questions about the "back story"--if felt as if it needed to be expanded.

Wonderful writing; I enjoyed this very much.
Excellent writing and a very interesting story.
Nice story. Nice flow. Nice ending.
I liked the story, but found some parts of it jarring. Pacing might have been better if we had less telling and more showing, and perhaps selected fewer details. Overall, it feels like the word limit may have interrupted an excellent story.
I was totally enthralled waiting to see what happened to the "bauble".

Since you asked for red ink, I will tell you it felt to me like there are two separate stories pieced together here. Sometimes cutting even more and replacing with a paragraph or two of explanation and tying together actually works better.

This was still a very enjoyable piece to read. I loved the ending, too. Mystery solved.
This story captured my attention and held it, waiting to see what would happen. I'll admit that it did seem to jump in areas, but I enjoyed it just the same.
Love this story but so much more needs to be said... You've wet my appetite.
I really enjoyed the "two" stories. I can see expansion opportunities for both though you tied them together well with finding the broach.
I love this line: Until that day my life was filled with adventure and the intoxication of girlhood. - exactly how I felt as a girl... and sometimes, still do. :-) You do have a great imagination and I liked this story very much.