The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/18/09
Great article. Having worked as a reporter, I was able to identify with the co-workers being left with copy they had not been used to handeling. I also liked the direction the conversation took, telling us about God's retirement plan.
Very nice...and it is always tough to see good workers leave the workplace.


Keep writing!!!

May God bless.

Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship

09/19/09
Not sure how the title connects with the story. I can think several ways it could be woven into the story but I would like you to have done it.
09/21/09
I kept waiting for Nan to open one of the airplanes and find a special message just for her...
09/22/09
The baton is passed. With your MC's retirement, in the post-Katrina New Orleans, his real ministry could begin, starting with rounding up the lost sheep of the congregation. Great story!
09/23/09
I liked this story a lot. Some of the dialogue toward the end felt a little stiff and lost some of the rhythm of the rest of the story, but overall, excellent!
The retiree volunteers keep our church going - great story. I'm not sure I've figured out the significance of the paper airplane but I like how it kept "sailing" into the story. ;)