The Official Writing Challenge
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I really like old-timer Billy, imparting truth & wisdom with a huge dash of good humor.
08/29/09
I, too, liked the deep theology of the MC mingled with some good old fashioned humor.
Deep truth sprinkled with great humor. Well done.
09/01/09
Love the title, love the characters, love their names and love your writing talent.
This is very good.
Mona
09/01/09
Good job, I thought this was very well-written.
09/01/09
i looked for a red ink spot but all i found was beautiful humor. keep whittling and writing.
09/01/09
Very good story and I love the ending:)
My kind of story, interesting story and characters with a great message. Love it!
Loved the descriptions and the complexity of these characters. Your writing style is very strong and polished, especially in the first few paragraphs.

My only comment would be that somehow Quaid seemed like the big brother and not the father of baby 'tuck'. Something about his few words made me feel he was younger until I re-read and figured out he was the new father.

Great job!
09/02/09
Okay. You called for red ink in the forums lol Get ready.

First off. I liked your peice. Nice having a grandfather teaching the young ones God's way. Doesn't happen nearly enough these days.
I picked up on a few things you might want to look at for improvement though but remember this is only my opinion, feel free to reject it.
First sentence, too long. Too vanilla (if that makes sense.) You have an unreferenced 'they' when grandaddy is talking about the name.

Watch the tags. There was no need to add the tag 'Billy thought. we know we are in his head and they are wasted words.
The piece seemed a little passive for my liking. You could easily get rid of some of the was's and save some more space. eg... Billy was whittling a turtle, Billy whittled a turtle.
The dialogue seemed a little off to me, too many names and a little too formal for this informal conversation.

I totally loved the description of the birth process though. Keep up the good work and please feel free to trout-slap my comments if you do not agree.