The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 848 times
Member Comments
Awesome work!

Lisa, the message of this poem is GREAT. It is a sad thing portrayed here, a little boy appealing to God for his Mommy...I am not likely the one to give you guidance as to the poetry itself, but my suggestion is, if you use this poem somewhere else (as I know you can't edit it for Challenge), is to make the poem like "couplets." What I mean is, put the second line as an extention to the first, and join the third and fourth lines in each verse. I think it would run more smoothly...But please don't take my word of it. It is just a suggestion from one poet to another...And the Lord bless you for such a very good entry...Helen