The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
A very clever story and powerfully written. You did a good job of tying together a number of Bible stories and some 1st century history. Nicely done.
A very clever composition - definitely one of my favourites.
One minor quibble would be that the reference to robots doesn't fit the period of your piece as such machines are a much more recent invention (the Iliad notwithstanding).
I always wondered what happened to the little boy with the fish and loaves! :) You have a very descriptive style of writing, and I enjoyed this piece. The ending was so sad, though!