The Official Writing Challenge
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A pretty good twist, but a tad confusing. How did Mrs.Banks know Micheal? I wasn't quite sure on that part, I loved the bit where he took off to play though with the little guy.
I think the confusion could be cleared up by tweaking the punctuation. Good job on showing Michael's personality.
I like your characterization of Michael. You did a good job of showing how someone can be hard, and yet have their soft, tender side as well. I'd like to see this story expanded...I think it was hurt a bit by the word limit. I'd like to know more about what happened to Michael.
You did a good job with the characterization here. The boy is realistic and wel-developed within the word count. Good job.
I could see this boy. I could see his face and its hardness. I could also see his heart and its softness. Good use of this week's topic.