The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I enjoyed your story. I loved the line about the bowling pins in an open league.Very clever. I also appreciated the way your story ended. You allowed the reader to decide how the story ends. Good Job!
This certainly addresses the topic. My heart went out to Bill. There are a lot of "Bills" in our world. Just as in your story, we should never give up trying to reach out to them. Loved it.
Beautiful. I'm glad that there was a reasolution.
A memorable character and a realistic story. Good work.
I liked your graceful ending, too. The story came full circle with the sharing of the pie, and I felt Mr. Harper would once again join his small circle of friends. nicely done.
Well done. Great writing!

I also like the line "As soon as that door had opened, those kids scattered like bowling pins during open league."

I like the names you chose as well. Very fitting.:)
Perfectly bittersweet. Wonderful ending; touching, but yet, not a big happy bow.
Loved the details like the slamming screen door, the banging gate, and the squeeking third step...they helped to make this a very vivid piece. Very well done!
Excellent portrayal of emotion. A typo: "he" is capitalized in the third sentence.
I was really drawn in to this piece. A wonderful depiction of heartbreak and, eventually, hope. Well done!
Beautifully written!
I remember when my grandmother died. My grandfather was completely devastated much like this man. I can't imagine what it must feel like to lose your mate after being together for so many years.

I agree that the ending works. I sometimes like to be able to imagine what happens next, and I'm guessing that Bill made a new friend.

Thanks for sharing. :)