The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You did a great job constructing God's character through the dialogue. The asterisks were unnecessary and distracted from the story. You also wrote in a great deal with few words. Good work!
I liked the embodiment of feeling in this piece, which seems to depict your own life experiences. Imaginative, descriptive and true to life, I found your story refreshing and thought-provoking.
Very interesting allegory.

I think it would have been stronger without the "it was only a dream" structure.

You did a great job with imageray and with dialogue.
I like the idea that Christian are fireflies...good job!
You have such a way of phrasing things - loved the lines "... voice akin to waterfalls..." and "Words dribbled down my chin..." Just made me stop and go ahhhhh, nice. I loved the lessons here and the touch of humour at the end went well with me.
I like stories where we are in the presence of God and are comfortable and know we belong. It is what i aim for.
Very creative thinking!

Oooo...I hope I'm a firefly when viewed from afar! Very imaginative.
I enjoyed reading this. Interesting and imaginative.