The Official Writing Challenge
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This is truly a winner. One can only imagine what that was like, but you have done a terrific job. Only a gifted mind could tell this story so vividly.
I like your realistic portrayal of the wife's disgruntledness with Jerry's hotel choice; I also liked the subtle sarcasm of calling the walk a "healthy amenity." Vivid descriptions and great attention to detail. I was expecting the water to hit the restaurant...and add to Mom's terror. The most haunting line? ....Why?
Another geat story that draws you in from the beginning. The fear that the mother felt was so real to me. I know that I asked the same question, why...
You did a great job drawing the reader in from the start--and keeping the intensity building.

Some of your sentences were quite long. The "feel" of the story might work better with shorter sentences.

Very good story-telling, and nice job with the topic.
Very realistic! You portrayed very vividly what it would be like to be caught in that terrible disaster.
Oooo, this got quite intense! I too found the last line very moving. Well done!
Wow! You succeeded in raising my heart-rate and respirations! Where you really there? If this is fiction you did a fantastic job writing this!
This turned from lighthearted to deadly serious very smoothly and without a hiccup. Great descriptions of the carnage caused by the tsunami. The ending is especially moving, and I like it, but I felt it ended too abruptly (even tho I did like it.)
Oh man. Wow. That's all you get. You said it all already:) Great job!
As a mother I can truly identify with the mother's panic. Well done on a powerful story and a tragic event.
Riveting. Great job!
I love your story. It reminds me of God's provision and leading, even in the little details of life.
This was very well done in its descriptive detail, especially in the ways the bodies were hurled about. Well done in "taking us" to that most tragic time and event.
I found myself holding my breath as the story progressed.

Did this actually happen to you and your family or is it purely a work of fiction? Either way, Connie, you did a great job in the telling.
Awesome story! To be honest I could not tell if it was indeed a 'story' or was it real?

Not only did I enjoy it, but I learned from it as well. I am a beginner, and one question I had was how to identify time shift to the reader between past and present. Your use of asterisks showed me a way of changing the time frame. Thanks!
This is amazing. Vivid descriptions! I was rooted til the end!
Good job--as soon as I saw the destination and the date, I thought "oh, no..." You captured the horror well.

Maybe it was a little bit too "tell-y" toward the middle?

Love the ending of this story--you struck just the right note.
Wow - SO intense. The descriptions, especially of the tsunami's effects, were very vivid. Good stuff!
Wow - the descriptions of her view, the destruction, the power were intense - brutal even.