The Official Writing Challenge
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Very sweet--your eager, curious children seemed very real to me.

I think you could do without the first few sentences about the Challenge and your computer, and just start right in on your story.

I'd love to go there some time, too!
We went camping a couple years ago after watching something about 'Nessie'. My boys told everyone they met about her and that they were on the look out for her. Crazy the way kids think.
I enjoyed this, it brought back fond memories of my boys.