The Official Writing Challenge
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This is sweet! I like the POV. The "grown up" baby's voice is cute. (I did one of those once.) If any of us could remember our thoughts from that age, the voice may be more accurate than we'd think!
This is so cute! I like the creative use of the baby thinking grown up thoughts. The only thing that didn't feel right to me was the baby knowing the difference between store bought and homemade decorations. But it didn't take away from this well written story. Nicely done.
10/20/08
Interesting POV ! It might have helped to put it more in the limited 'vocabulary' of a child. The thoughts are too big for an infant. I like your creative perspective of this tradition.
10/20/08
a fun, alternative approach to the topic. I quite like the way you used adult vocabulary - emphasises the contrast between the child's sense of comprehension and her physical limitation.
10/22/08
“Are you excited about decorating the tree tonight?” Serena bounced up and down and started talking to me in that baby talk that drives me crazy." You often wonder what they do think of all our cootchie-coo talking. I enjoyed this piece and POV.
Great creative approach to the topic. There are obviously two camps on the baby's language. Personally, I thought it was too grown-up, educated, and distracting for me. But others seem to love it, so stick to your gut! Good job.
10/22/08
Very clever. Love the swat on the behind. Very cute:)
10/22/08
Nice angle. I often wonder what babies think when we coo, and talk funny, and they stare like we've just fallen and hit our head.
10/23/08
I enjoyed reading this one. I won't get technical....yeah, you could change some stuff, but it's still excellently done. Totally identified with the POV and it was a very fun read!