The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/21/08
VERY intriguing story line. I saw what looked like a simple cut and paste error. No big deal. Love your hanging ending which could leave your reader asking herself the same question. Good job!
08/21/08
Oh, I wish this story would come true for some of today's self-indulgent celebrities!

A few punctuation issues, and I don't believe I've ever seen "stubbly" used as an adjective. Maybe a bit too much telling as opposed to showing?

Love the ending, and the irony in your protagonist's name.