The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 998 times
Member Comments
Unique POV. I like the descriptions. Thanks.
Your allegory has a wonderful message. I'm glad your mc got it.
This is sort of an allegory. THis is the budding of a brilliant allegory, but I think it needs more development. You chose "Carpenter" as Jesus's title but how does that fit into your allegory? Who exactly are the creatures? Animals or people? That is very vague. The neat thing about allegories is that you could use animals to illustrate the fault of people. Could the Carpenter (or forester, or someone who works with animals) have built a wonderful perfect place for the creatures? Yet they try to exist without him. You draw some great parallels to how they try to use every way but Him to the "greener grass." THis is a beautiful bud of a story, but, I think, it needs more development.
Thought provoking... I like your imagery of them straying farther or trying to find their own way across. I thought at first they were sheep and He was a shepherd... not sure where the carpenter theme comes in but I liked your story regardless.
Lots of allegories relating to the cross this week, but this one is one of my favorites that I have read. I thought it was very well written and described the state of our world today. I appreciate you sharing this.
You wrote this so well I can easily visualize the scene. I love little Tommy's questions and of course the Carpenter's answers. A great retelling of the greatest story ever told!
This is WONDERFUL, Joanney. Lovely parable and imagery, with an excellent message. Wow.
What wonderful imagery, Joanney! I love Tommy and I love the way this story flowed so evenly. A truly lovely piece. I hope you place high on this one, dearheart.
Great presentation of the gospel and the bridge extended to us from a Loving Father.
I agree with Lisa above me here. The opening hooked me. You're good. Very good. God bless.
Wonderful. I REALLY liked this, and loved the symbolism. You did a super job.
Your imagery is outstanding, and so many of your descriptions are vivid and powerful. Well done.