The Official Writing Challenge
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I liked this. I thought Jolee was in the hospital. Very well done. Nice surprise at the end.
Oh, did you ever have me in suspense. I wondered, what was going to happen? Was there about to be an execution? Oh no, what a relief! an adoption! Great climax! What a wonderful job you did to keep the climax up until the end. You have talent!...Helen
Whew! I thought she was missing. Nice job with the suspsense. I enjoyed reading this.
Super suspenseful story! My first thought was that Jolee had been kidnapped by her biological father. Oh wow, this was so good. You had me hooked from beginning to end.
The heart stopping suspense shows someone who hasn't gone through a situation like this realize just how life-or-death serious it must be for parties involved. The tiny little details add so much to the story.
Whew, I wouldn't be surprised to see this in the winning circle come Thursday. Great job at building the tension and then the pleasant surprise for the ending.
Halfway through, I guessed that Jolee was having a baby and they were waiting for the call announcing the birth. With the teasers about her "real" father and Chad, I should have guessed! What a wonderful ending. Great entry!
The suspense was well-done. But where was that little bundle of energy all day, anyway?
Your first paragraph is an excellent lead in, and you've included many wonderful details throughout. You kept my interest as the suspense continuted to build. I'm glad this story has a happy ending.
Oh, this was a wonderful story! You brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing it!
Excellent! I had no idea where this was going and was THRILLED at the ending. Awesome writing.
The suspense was awesome here. I thought Jolee was finally on a visitation with her biological father. Masterfully written.
The suspense was killing me! If this doesn't place high, I'll be very, very surprised.
Very good job!
Oooh, you got me! I was really expecting the daughter to be in the hospital or something here. I'm so glad it was a happy ending and with all that suspense. Whew! Nice job! ^_^
You really had me wondering what they were waiting for! Wow... great story. I love the details throughout, especially this one:
Chad drew me to the sofa, trying to still my fingers as they plucked threads from the cushions. I gazed at the tangled threads. Theres enough thread here to knit a scarf.

Tying the beginning and end together the way you did, was perfect (the chimes)!
I was worried that someone was seriously hurt. Nice way of surprising the reader, and it was a lot happier ending than what I was expecting it to be. Thank you for sharing this.
Great Writing! You kept the suspense high 'til the very end. Congratulations, as well, on your 1st place award.
Three cheers for this loving family and three more for your well deserved win. What a delightful, heartlifting story. Loren
The suspense was unbearable, just as it should be for a great read like this! Thanks and Congratulations on a well deserved win!